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Each participant enters a triangle with a "favourite" scenario role. Someone pursues someone, someone feels the victim, someone tries to save. But players will inevitably move from one role to another.

Partners do not understand and do not feel each other. Each of them reproduces the drama play, and another - only the participant of a performance. It is easy to guess that in the long term both participants of a game will feel deceived and disappointed.

Sources of the unhealthy relations, as a rule, lie in the childhood. Olga Lukina tells how she finds the painful points in an office of the psychotherapist of people and gets rid of illusions which prevent to be happy. He learns to realize the value, to hear itself(himself), to ask about important, to speak "no", when necessary. So it comes to healing.

The victim and the persecutor constantly change roles. - Source

On materials of the book "Business and/or Love" a post Cover - picjumbo.com

"I met the shaking beautiful girl a week ago. I understood that it is love which I looked for!." - the person tells. He felt improbable elation, tenderness, passion, it revived hopes for luck. But it is not love yet.

But it - only roles. Under them there is unsolved an actual potential of participants. Actually, each of us is by nature allocated with the need for love and ability to love.

But it is not love of the evil. Fault to all - our unconscious scenario which pushes us to unhealthy models of close relationship.

But why it pursues it if wants that it disappeared?

It is possible. But it is necessary to remember: people are cured not by psychotherapeutic technicians, but the true human proximity and love.

In psychotherapy there is such concept: drama triangle. The main roles in this triangle are played by the Victim, the Persecutor and Christ Redeemer.

"The love is evil" - we say. Or: "the true love does not exist". The author of the book "Business and/or Love" psychotherapist Olga Lukina calms: it is a lie. But why we come to such conclusions? Perhaps, we simply call love what it is not.

Why it will occur? Because once it already renounced this right. Because once even before it forced to believe that it does not have this right for the value.

She believes that she suffers because of it and if it leaves, sufferings will stop. It is illusion. The person will leave, and the need for love all the same will have an effect. She will want to be with someone close again.

Not the therapist, and proximity and love treats. - the Source

At first the Persecutor catches up with the Victim and takes away from it the right for own advantage, and it allows it it. At some point the indignation rises to a throat of the Victim, to it to pant, and under pressure of rage it begins to pursue the offender, tries to banish it. To make so that the person disappeared from her life.

It is love which cornerstone idealization of the partner and strong sexual inclination is. Who this woman actually? Whether she will be able to understand and accept it? Whether she with it will divide the vital purposes? Whether they will be able to trust sincerely each other the experiences and to feel emotional bond? So far only questions, and the person already started talking about love.

People for years can play these games, accumulating disappointment. They are strong connected by a childlike faith that not will not be able to be lived without each other. In actual fact it turns out that this belief covers other impossibility - to live happily and quietly.

In role-playing game there are no winners. - Source